I know there are many people out there looking to learn to speak more effectively and clearly. They want to be able to give that presentation to the board, impress their fellow businessfolk with their outstanding conference speech, and wow their boss with how those figures look — “way to go Jones!”
The key to doing this may just be speaking with a pen in your mouth (You could try a pencil, but you might get lead poisoning, and that probably won’t help your career).
Many people may think this is a bit strange, but I’m telling you, it is the super secret Ninja tip you have been looking for. How do I know? Well, I was trained in this strange world of competitive policy debate. 4 years in high school and then at Dartmouth College. I was even such a geek, I spent my summers in high school learning how to debate. But this isn’t the debate you think of. This isn’t, “I object sir, you are morally reprehensible.” No, this is speaking at the highest possible rate of velocity possible while reading lines from law reviews and books from every strange source imaginable, trying to cram as much argumentation logic into 8 and 4 minute speeches. All while yelling out code words like “turn”, “no internal link” and other strange jargon. Its quite thrilling in its own way really.
So one of the things you learn when you try to speak at a high rate of speed is that all your words blur together. It’s one big mumbling machine. This isn’t very effective when you are trying to convince the judge why we should initiate a thermonuclear high speed laser defense program to shoot down missiles from space.
So what do you do? You practice reading all these pieces of evidence while firmly grasping a pen in you mouth. You will look silly, feel silly, and sound silly, but if you do this consistently, I guarantee you will come out sounding smoother, make friends, impress members of the opposite sex, and all that sort of stuff. Well, maybe not, but you will be able to now speak with a pen in your mouth.
Sidenote: This tip doesn’t really come directly from me - - it was passed down from one Anjan Sanni (forgive me on the name if you read this Anjan, this is from phonetic memory). Anjan is one of the smartest guy’s I ever saw debate. He also won pretty much every tournament I ever saw and I am pretty sure he won the National Debate Tournament on the college level. In other words, he was a grandmaster wizard as this stuff.
See it turns out that when you have to speak with a pen in your mouth all of those muscles you rarely use suddenly have to be used. You are forced to start using those mouth muscles to articulate each of the words. You have to overcompensate in order for the words to come out correctly. Think of it like wearing weights when you go for a walk — a small amount of strain that makes walking the rest of the time easier. It pretty much works the same way. Once you get in the habit of having to articulate words around the pen, you will find that in normal speech words come out with a force and delivery you never thought possible.
So how to do it?
- Get a Tape Recorder, or Mic Yourself and Record to the Computer: Whether you want to go old school or new school, find a way to record yourself speaking. You want to know how you sound to other people, not how your voice vibrates in your head. I started with a tape recorder but I’d probably use a computer now cause it is easier to track progress over time.
- Find a Pen or Similar Sized Object (And Make Sure it is NonToxic): You are going to be sticking this thing in your mouth and slobbering on it, so it is good to find a pen that has a nice smoothness to it and that you cannot easily bite into the ink somehow. Any object that size will do, a pen just tends to be handy.
- Insert Pen, Clamp Down with Teeth: You want to find some comfortable medium. If you push the pen too far in, you won’t be able to get your lips to move around it. If you have it too far out, it will pop right out when you say a word a bit too forcefully.
- Find a good page with a range of word types and start speaking away: Simple stuff like USA Today might be a good way to start but you eventually want to get into those weird law journals where they just make up words because they feel special. Reading challenging stuff will force you to really pronounce the words and be more aware of what you are doing.
- Record and then Listen to Your Speaking: Try doing a page or two and record it while you do it. Then go back and listen. Find where you are clear and find when you mumble. Note if it is occuring on certain sounds, like an sssss. Then go back and try again.
If you practice this for a good bit of time each night for a few weeks you will find that not only are you aware that there are far more muscles in the mouth then you knew about, but also that you are suddenly speaking a bit clearer and words seem to have a greater impact.
One of the best ways to really see the result is to pick a passage and read it before starting the experiment. Then do the training for a period of time and come back and read the passage again. Record both sessions and compare. I think you will be surprised at the difference.